My Struggle: Depression

Lately it has felt like my depression is winning. It seems that at every turn I am faced with a crushing weight on my chest that I can’t remove.

I have tried hard to stick to my schedule, and do things that I enjoy to try and combat the feelings that I have been having, but it has been a challenge. I have never really understood the root of my depression and while I am seeking help I often find that it is so hard to explain.

It is hard to look into the eyes of peop

 

le you love and care about and feel so listless and down. When people ask me what they can do to help, I have no answers. I try to distract myself, to let myself focus on other things, other people, other problems, but I find that I keep coming back because of that crushing weight of sadness.

Recently, when discussing this with a friend of mine, she suggested that I try to do more things that I enjoy that are just for me. She told me to look outside of working out, to try and find something else. So I decided to come back here.

 

Life has been crazy since I last wrote. Outside of my depression I got a new part time job, am trying to focus on moving, and am still trying to navigate the grieving process. But when I am writing to all of you I feel a sense of strength. I feel that even though my thoughts aren’t ages old and 100% perfect, that it still helps heal me to share my story with the world.

I hope that you get something out of the posts that

 

you read and that if you are struggling that you can find an outlet that helps you see the light. I am going to continue to write about life, and fitness, and health, because it helps me see the light a little bit better and I need that.

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Finding Time For You

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This morning I woke up late for my morning run. I didn’t have nearly enough time to complete the run that I wanted without potentially being late for work. But before submitting to the fact that I would miss a workout today I took a second and thought, what is more important, my mental well-being or being 10 minutes late to work?

I grabbed my sneakers and headed out the door. It was a beautiful morning for a run and logging those morning miles made me feel centered and ready to start the day.

I rolled into work about 12 minutes late, but I was happy knowing that I had taken care of myself first.

Putting yourself first is vital to leading a happy and healthy life. It has taken me a long time to adapt to this mindset, but now I can’t imagine living without it. Every choice you make in life, every decision, and interaction starts with you. If you aren’t taking care of yourself and taking time for yourself, then all aspects of your life will suffer.

Here are some ways I make time for myself and take care of myself:

  1. Have a “me-night” where I watch whatever TV shows or movies I want as well as doing any other activities I like. Sometimes I will write, or read a book, or go for a walk.
  2. Make time for workouts. They keep me sane and I need them desperately to function.
  3. Unplug during a lunchtime walk. No texts, calls, or Facebook scrolling, just you time.

Try these tips to improve your health, happiness, and life!

Finding Healthy New Recipes

I am all about breakfast. It has always unfathomable to me that some people do not eat breakfast. I couldn’t do it, I don’t know how they live without morning fuel.

My breakfast sets the tone for the whole day so I try to make sure that it is healthy and filling. I used to eat Greek yogurt with fresh berries for breakfast every morning, but the yogurt started to upset my stomach so I switched to my old favorite of oatmeal.

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In my morning oatmeal I have half a cup of oats, a tablespoon of almond butter, and

 

then some fresh fruit on top. I like to have strawberries, blueberries, or raspberries, but I’ve seen some people add apple, peach, or pear and that is a hit too. While I love my oatmeal, I am starting to get a little sick of it and want to try something new.

That is when I stumbled on the recipe for these egg nests, they are basically egg muffins with veggies. I first saw a tutorial on Instagram on Inspiralized that gave me the idea to look for Zoodle Egg Muffin recipes that I could complete in my own kitchen.

I found this recipe that I cannot wait to try this weekend. I love that these little muffins pack in protein and veggies, which is often missing from my morning routine. I can’t wait to have these for breakfast with a side of delicious fruit.

What are your favorite healthy breakfasts? Please share your recipes with me so I can get out of my oatmeal rut!

Love Yourself

I needed a little inspiration today to love myself and look at myself in the mirror kindly. Everyone has bad days and sometimes my old insecurities and demons sneak in and try to take hold. So on those days I try to remember why I should love myself.

For me, sometimes that means looking at quotes about loving yourself and just soaking them in. It doesn’t solve my problems but it does help make me feel better.

A simple google is all I did and I was able to check out a lot of helpful quotes that resonated with me. Here they are.

love yourself

Seeing Progress

Lately I have been able to see progress in my arms, and it is the best feeling! All of the barre classes and additional lifting workouts seem to be making a difference and I couldn’t be happier.

I have always wanted toned arms. I used to hate the way that my arms looked in pictures and I always craved that toned look. It has taken a lot of hard work to finally get those muscles to peek out and it makes me feel more confident. It also makes me want to keep working until they look even more toned and stronger.

Progress definitely makes the journey feel easier, but it is still hard to stick to clean eating and a solid workout routine outside of my normal running workouts. I have started running less and attending more barre classes which has given me results and made me feel pretty great too.

I still love running and still incorporate it into my routine since it is such a great release for me, but I don’t let it control my life anymore. This morning I was exhausted when I woke up, and I really didn’t want to get out of bed. If I didn’t have a barre class scheduled, then I guarantee I would have slept in and skipped a workout that morning. Instead I dragged myself out of bed and went to barre and it was a total kick-ass workout. I was drenched at the end and the challenge was a great way to start the day.

I want to keep working towards progress because it makes me feel good, but I also want to focus on loving life and living my life with a health balance of progress and actively living my life. I want my life to be focused on more than just gains and pounds, I want it to be focused on living and loving life.

Letting Go

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A wonderful friend of mine sent me a journal last week called “Letting Go.” This amazing journal is filled with alternate quotes and blank pages to be filled with things that you are decided to let go. For me, this is an amazing resource.

There are too many amazing things in life to hold onto bad, negative, or hateful thoughts and feelings. I plan to fill these pages with things I need to let go. Page one, my stomach.

I have been hung-up for years that my stomach is not flat enough and that has held me back from wearing cute outfits, swimsuits, and more. I have let my hatred of my stomach make me so uncomfortable that I withdraw from conversations, events, and outings. I become so self-conscious of my midsection that I let it eat away at me.

Well news-flash, it is just a stomach. No more, no less, just a stomach. It is meant to be digesting food, not in knots over my fears of how it looks in a two-piece, or I feel in a form-fitting outfit.

I give it so much power and control over me that is completely unnecessary, so it is time to let it go. Enough with my obsession and shame of it. It is time to let that go and accept that it will always be a part of my body. No matter how committed to working out and eating well I am, I know that I will always find problems with it, so it is time to let it go.

I look forward to letting go of so many other things that don’t serve me or improve my life. It will take time, but I will get there.

Back At It

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After a fun vacation filled with overindulging and lots of flight delays, I am back home and happy to be back in my routine. This week I am focusing on eating well after a couple weeks of poor food choices. I want to feel great like I did not too long ago, and I know that good food choices, fitness, and self care is the key to that.

Last night after a long day of traveling, I got home and went to the grocery store so that my fridge would be full of healthy foods this week and I would have no excuses to eat poorly. I got back from the store at 8 p.m. and decided to bust out my pots and pans and get to food prepping.

I prepped all my breakfasts and lunches for the week as well as some dinner options that included roasted zucchini, turkey burger meat sauce, and spaghetti squash. Now I have delicious options locked and loaded for the week, and I have amazing fruits and veggies to snack on.

This morning I got up early and went for a run and then for a quick lift session at the gym. Then I made a big breakfast complete with gluten free toast, two eggs over easy, broccoli, and lots of hot sauce (photo above) and am now headed off to have a great day with my little sister from the Big Brothers Big Sisters program. Spending time with her always reminds me of what is most important and brings me back to having fun like a kid again!

What are you doing to ensure a great week?