Today is a beautiful Wednesday. I have decided to make it a wonderful day and I refuse to be stopped.
I started my day with a beautiful run along the Charles River and I can honestly say that I could sit along the Charles and gaze upon its glory for hours. I’m in love and I don’t think Boston is ever planning on giving me my heart back.
After a beautiful run that was the longest yet of my healing runs at 3.4 miles I stopped at my gym to get a lift in. Since I can no longer run my marathon, or at least the one I was planning on running, I have been focusing on lifting. I would love to showcase my body with strong arms and abs to go along with the strong legs I’ve acquired during mammoth sized training runs.
Today I did arms. I have decided to split up my arm workouts into two days because I get bored very easily when I do arms. So today was part two and it felt great. I can feel myself getting stronger even if it will be awhile before I see any tangible results.
I also did abs and oh my goodness I could really feel it. I had neglected working my abs during marathon training so it is a great transition to be getting back into working on a firm core. I know that I will never have a six pack, and that I am simply not built that way but that I can still focus on building a great body regardless.
After I finished my workout, complete with a beloved foam roller session I did something that I haven’t done for a long time. It has been months in fact. I weighed myself.
Did I weigh less than before? More? Was I the same? What is funny is that I can barely recall what my original number was. I think I’ve gained a bit of weight but if you could see the muscle in my lower half you would know that that is likely responsible for most of it.
But I didn’t feel any attachment to that weight. I didn’t define myself by it and that is a huge step for me. I didn’t dwell on the fact that I was up a few pounds and I certainly didn’t break down and tell myself I was worth less because my weight wasn’t what I wanted to be.
I want to be 120 pounds. That is likely an impossible goal for me at 5′ 6″ and with a booty that I think will never stop, and I like it that way. I’d love to be a little slimmer, have flatter abs, but maybe it isn’t in the cards. Maybe where I am right now is where I am meant to be, and I am okay with that, in fact I am happy with that.
I walked home feeling happy and full of life. I walked home knowing that I was still me regardless of a number on a scale and so I went home and made myself a delicious breakfast/lunch. I had two eggs over easy with toast and of course an iced tea. It was delicious and I made it myself and while my egg flipping skills could use some work I am proud.
I’m proud that I’m not scared. I am not scared to adventure in the weight room or the kitchen or in life. I am not scared of what the future has to hold for me, in fact, I am thrilled to find out.