Just a Reminder

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I wanted to share this today because I needed this reminder and I’m sure that many others do as well.

Our weight does not define us. The way that people love us is not contingent on the size of our thighs or our pant sizes. The way that we love ourselves shouldn’t be either.

I read an article recently that bashed the body positive movement because, as the article said, that it promoted an unhealthy lifestyle and obesity. I have had a hard time wrapping my brain around their thoughts and my own opinion on the subject, but I am going to do my best now to share how I feel.

I think that people are trying to put too much responsibility on the shoulders of body positive advocates. A plus size model should be allowed to tell her followers to love every curve, every jiggle, and every piece of their body without in the same breath having to say, “but you should also exercise and eat well.” I think that is what many people expect and I don’t think it is their job and they shouldn’t have to do it.

I believe that health and fitness is vital to a happy life. MY life is vastly better when I workout consistently and eat well, but I am not going to preach that to someone who is scared and uncomfortable with their body. What that article didn’t understand is that sometimes you have to love yourself first before you can take care of yourself.

Sometimes you need to accept your curves and love the skin you’re in before you decide to try that barre class or go to Zumba or head out and run a mile. It is a lot easier to say fuck the haters in a fitness class when you love yourself and are feeling yourself then if you are told to be embarrassed and ashamed of your body by society.

My whole life I have hated my body because that is what society told me. That is what the bullies in my upbringing told me. I was surrounded by a loving and supportive family, and still I hated myself. I had an eating disorder and still didn’t feel thin enough, I still didn’t feel good enough.

No one should have to feel like that. I repeat, NO ONE.

No woman, man, or person should have to make the decision that they can only love themselves if they are exercising or eating well. No one should be telling body positive advocates that they aren’t doing enough, because they are doing more now than ever before. We are making strides so that EVERY woman can openly love herself and not just those who workout and eat clean.

Body positivity isn’t an excuse for obesity, it is about loving yourself, accepting who you are, and doing with that what you will. Loving myself means I wake up early and workout because for me, loving myself means making time for fitness. The key word is me. What is love for me might not be for you, and no one else should tell you how you are allowed to show love to yourself, no one but you.

So go ahead and show yourself a little love today.

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Love Yourself

I needed a little inspiration today to love myself and look at myself in the mirror kindly. Everyone has bad days and sometimes my old insecurities and demons sneak in and try to take hold. So on those days I try to remember why I should love myself.

For me, sometimes that means looking at quotes about loving yourself and just soaking them in. It doesn’t solve my problems but it does help make me feel better.

A simple google is all I did and I was able to check out a lot of helpful quotes that resonated with me. Here they are.

love yourself

Productivity 101

Fun fact about me: I am 100% a morning person and my productivity wanes past 3 p.m. After 3 p.m. I typically find myself distracted at work, and struggling to get things done. This is usually when I start mindlessly scrolling on my phone or distractedly opening up Facebook even though I closed it moments before.

Does this happen to anyone else? I believe that we all operate differently and that for some of us we get our best and most successful work done in the morning while others can crank out brilliant work at 11 p.m. Because I am an early bird and a morning hustler, I typically like to work out in the morning, get a lot of work done before noon, and use the evening to unwind from the day.

I like to relax in the evening by watching Netflix or Hulu shows that make me laugh, by writing, reading, or experimenting in the kitchen. I love to bake, and so doing that truly satisfies me, even if it isn’t as good for my waistline. I enjoy baking because it allows me to accomplish something while bringing joy to others. I will often share my sweet treats with my office and I find that people love them and it makes them genuinely happy. I really love bringing joy and happiness to others and I make it a foundational part of my life. For me I derive the greatest happiness out of the happiness of others.

When I am not focusing on the happiness of others or getting things done to start my day, I find some tips and tricks that help me focus in the afternoon. Try these tips if you become scattered or distracted at any given time throughout the day.

  1. Block out your time once you become distracted. Once you plan out your time it will motivate you to get things done. It is like your to-do list is on a stopwatch!
  2. Do an activity that gets you moving around for a bit and then come back after your “brain break”. I try to save more active tasks for the afternoon (think stuffing name badges, helping with event prep) so that I can get out of my space and come back rejuvenated with a fresh mindset.
  3. Go to the bathroom, get your favorite drink to sip on (mint tea or seltzer water for me) and focus on finishing a task while you enjoy your drink. It rewards you while you work since you get to have something you love while cranking out a task.

What productivity tips help you lead a more successful life?

“Time-is-non-refundable-use-it-with-intention.”

Feeling Inferior

If there was every a moment when I fully realized that I was my own worst enemy, it was last night, in tears, alone in my bedroom.

I had spent the night with a gaggle of my best girlfriends and honest to God you couldn’t ask for a better group of girls to spend time with. The whole lot of them are sweet, kind, caring, hilarious, and cripplingly beautiful.

And even though I had laughed and enjoyed my time with them, the entire time I couldn’t get over how I would never look like them.

I have a really beautiful life. I have wonderful parents who love me endlessly, and a family that supports me in all my endeavors. I have best friends that are truly some of the most beautiful souls on the planet and not to mention that I have the most wonderful boyfriend who makes my life so much better and brighter and beautiful.

But alone in my bedroom last night crying very real tears, I was my own worst enemy. I hate my body. I look in the mirror and to see myself this way is devastating. I am not overweight. But I hate myself.

Today, alone in my bedroom, without tears I realized that I am the one that allows myself to feel inferior. Instead of embracing my body the way it is and openly loving myself, I allow the thoughts, opinions, and even looks of others crush me.

I have to stop giving myself consent to hate. I need to stop allowing me to make me feel inferior. Today is a message to be strong and stop hurting yourself with your own thoughts, today is a message to stop being your own worst enemy.

Running

The last guy I dated never understood that running wasn’t something I did, but rather who I was. Running is what defined me in a way so absolute and so pure that no other thing on Earth came close to it.

When I run I am the best version of myself. I am light, and free, and happy, and when I run there is part of myself that gets to just be and that is a wonderful thing.

He never understood that I needed to go for a run. Not because I wanted to or because I felt fat, but because that’s when I got to be me, and I needed that. Him and I didn’t work out because he never understood that part of me. He never understood that running completed my life and myself. He never got that, and I had no way of impressing that upon him and so we didn’t belong together.

If you cannot look into my eyes and see that running is part of my soul then we do not belong together. Happiness for me is running and I smile when I run and I laugh and I cry and it is everything. I never get to fully be Wendy except for when I am out there running, and some people don’t get that. It’s okay, they can’t all be runners.

But I am. Running is what defines me and it is what will for the rest of my life. If you can’t see me in that context then you are not meant to be a fixture in my life, but rather a passing thought. Someday I will find the man who sees that in me, and then I will get to be Wendy all the time, not just when I run.

Do it for You

Remember that you are doing this for you. You are recreating your body and pushing yourself to be healthier and fitter for yourself. You aren’t doing this for your mom, dad, best friend, boyfriend, society, or the media.

You are doing this because you love yourself and you want to be walking around in a body that you love and that you can embrace. Love who you are and work towards being a better version of yourself every day.

You are working towards bettering yourself, and no one else is a measuring stick of that. Love you and focus on you. No one else can do a better job of being you than you so fight for yourself and who you want to be.

Focus on Yourself

Don’t spend your life focused on other people, spend your life focused on yourself. I am as guilty as anyone at comparing myself to other people. But it shouldn’t be about other people, it should be about me. Focus on yourself and that is how you’ll find happiness.