Feeling Inferior

If there was every a moment when I fully realized that I was my own worst enemy, it was last night, in tears, alone in my bedroom.

I had spent the night with a gaggle of my best girlfriends and honest to God you couldn’t ask for a better group of girls to spend time with. The whole lot of them are sweet, kind, caring, hilarious, and cripplingly beautiful.

And even though I had laughed and enjoyed my time with them, the entire time I couldn’t get over how I would never look like them.

I have a really beautiful life. I have wonderful parents who love me endlessly, and a family that supports me in all my endeavors. I have best friends that are truly some of the most beautiful souls on the planet and not to mention that I have the most wonderful boyfriend who makes my life so much better and brighter and beautiful.

But alone in my bedroom last night crying very real tears, I was my own worst enemy. I hate my body. I look in the mirror and to see myself this way is devastating. I am not overweight. But I hate myself.

Today, alone in my bedroom, without tears I realized that I am the one that allows myself to feel inferior. Instead of embracing my body the way it is and openly loving myself, I allow the thoughts, opinions, and even looks of others crush me.

I have to stop giving myself consent to hate. I need to stop allowing me to make me feel inferior. Today is a message to be strong and stop hurting yourself with your own thoughts, today is a message to stop being your own worst enemy.

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