Lately it has felt like my depression is winning. It seems that at every turn I am faced with a crushing weight on my chest that I can’t remove.
I have tried hard to stick to my schedule, and do things that I enjoy to try and combat the feelings that I have been having, but it has been a challenge. I have never really understood the root of my depression and while I am seeking help I often find that it is so hard to explain.
It is hard to look into the eyes of peop
le you love and care about and feel so listless and down. When people ask me what they can do to help, I have no answers. I try to distract myself, to let myself focus on other things, other people, other problems, but I find that I keep coming back because of that crushing weight of sadness.
Recently, when discussing this with a friend of mine, she suggested that I try to do more things that I enjoy that are just for me. She told me to look outside of working out, to try and find something else. So I decided to come back here.
Life has been crazy since I last wrote. Outside of my depression I got a new part time job, am trying to focus on moving, and am still trying to navigate the grieving process. But when I am writing to all of you I feel a sense of strength. I feel that even though my thoughts aren’t ages old and 100% perfect, that it still helps heal me to share my story with the world.
I hope that you get something out of the posts that
you read and that if you are struggling that you can find an outlet that helps you see the light. I am going to continue to write about life, and fitness, and health, because it helps me see the light a little bit better and I need that.